How to deal with conflicts in a relationship

How to deal with conflicts in a relationship

You will rarely find any relationship where conflicts don’t take place. In fact, there is a saying that you don’t have a relationship if you don’t have a conflict with your partner. Disagreements are like parts and parcels of any relationship.
It is true that when two different people come together differences of opinion can happen. However, in the time of disagreement; we can barely think about such logic. If you are having a different opinion from your partner it is not wrong but if the differences are communicated effectively, it makes the bond stronger. So, if you are having too many conflicts in a relationship; relax and read our tips to deal with it.

The conflicts can be divided into different categories and can be the causes of a dispute as follows:

Data Conflicts: This is a conflict due to a lack of information which can lead to misinformation and miscommunication. This type of conflict is easy to resolve by making sure that both the person received the data in the same way.
Relationship Conflicts: This conflict is termed as an unrealistic or unnecessary conflict. The reason behind the conflict is a strong emotion of jealousy, mistrust, or hatred. These emotions are generated out of perceptions and poor communication which can ignite and escalate disputes.
Value Conflicts: This conflict is caused due to differences in values and incompatibility. It occurs when one tries to impose their values on the second person.
Structural Conflict: This conflict is caused by oppressive human relationships. It often arises due to external forces which can be resolved by understanding the structural problem and working on it to change.

Ways to save your relationship

Before finding out the ways on how to save a relationship we need to realize whether we want to save it or not. Once the desire is there one can find constructive ways to channel the methods. One can fix the conflict and save the relationship.

  • Stay Focused: When the focus in a relationship is to defend oneself rather than toward a solution causes harmful relationships. If the person keeps on fighting and lets their anger build then they could land up in a painful relationship resulting in separation. One should focus on resolving conflict and growing together for the desired outcomes.
  • Healthy Communication: Effective and healthy communication is the key to resolving conflicts and disagreements in a relationship.
  • Use Conflict as an opportunity: One should not try to win over an argument and embrace healthy communication. Conflict can serve as an opportunity to get aligned with your partner’s thoughts. It gives us a chance to understand and accept the differences. One can learn more about the relationship by seeing the positive side of the situation.
  • Use of humor: While the argument tends to be escalating, take a moment and break the pattern. Use humor to release tension and you can focus on saving the relationship.
  • Focus on the right questions: You need to ask the right questions to yourself about the wrong going on. If a relationship needs to be saved you should look into the past issues deeply as well as focus on the future. Just remember to get into this with the right frame of mind. You must change your mindset towards gratitude and acceptance. You can ask questions to yourself like what has affected your relationship? Why did the relationship break?, What do you need in the future?
  • Encourage Acceptance: No human being is perfect and there are some of the other habits of others that annoy us. Instead of focusing on the negative traits, the focus should be on the lovable qualities. Listen and understand what your partner needs as well as honestly accept what you want. Express your feelings and emotions.
  • Awareness of the negative traits: We all have negative and positive patterns and respond accordingly. One should be aware of their negative traits so that one can respond positively depending on the situation.
  • Forgiveness: One may feel angry, hurt, and other negative emotions once the trust is broken in a relationship. If you have broken the trust then you might feel guilty and can even try to justify yourself by blaming your partner. Both partners should work on forgiveness which is a process. It includes small acts like admitting faults, honesty, and giving the other one preference. Give your partner some space if needed but don’t miss out on communication.
  • Hug it out: Cuddling, hugging, and holding each other makes each other feel safe and loved.

It is not easy to maintain relationships as we all humans tend to make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t give enough time to the relationships required and we allow them to fall. One just needs to work on building it as some relationships are worth saving.

Managing Conflicts

Where there are interactions among people, conflict may arise anytime and in any situation. The key is to deal with and manage the conflict in different ways.

  • Accommodate: One can agree to accommodate when the other person is fair to the other one. People tend to encourage each other to express their opinion. The concerned persons are ready to reach a solution and safeguard the relationship.
  • Compromise: It can be done when the persons involved have equal and valid points. It does provide a temporary resolution to the problem and hence, achieve a settlement for the time being.
  • Avoidance: In case of minor issues the argument can be avoided. One can avoid the situation to cool down during a heated argument and relove the matter momentarily.
  • Competition: One person can dominate the argument if all the methods are tried and the decision needs to be quick and on an immediate basis.
  • Collaboration: People can agree to collaborate when all are ready to go for alternative solutions. The persons involved are ready and willing to understand each other’s situation.

The healthy way to resolve conflicts:

Conflicts are normal but it should not bring out anything that you don’t want in your relationship. One can resolve the conflicts in a healthy way:

Establish Boundaries: Everyone needs respect and if you are not getting the same ask the other person to stop and walk away if not understood.

Find the real issue: Try to find out the real issue behind any argument. It is quite possible that either of the partners is feeling insecure or is not being treated with respect. These feelings are expressed through arguments which can be avoided by addressing the real issue.

Agree even if you disagree: You can drop the argument if the issue is not resolved. Everything can’t be agreed upon and instead focus on the topic that matters. There is a sign of incompatibility if people are ready to drop from an important issue.

Compromise wherever possible: Compromise is a part of conflict resolution in a successful relationship but this is hard to achieve.

Consider it all: If an argument changes the feeling regarding each other consider your partner’s views on the issue. Try to give space to each other so that the feelings can be expressed.

Unhealthy Relationships: Conflict resolution

Any argument should not turn into personal attacks that lower the self-esteem of other people. Some of the unreasonable arguments for an unhealthy relationship are:

  • Spending time with others rather than with each other
  • Regular checking of others’ phones and ignoring texts of the partner.
  • The belief that the partner is cheating and is not trustworthy.
  • Instead of giving attention to the partner one is trying to do some other activity.

In Conclusion, one can say that any argument can be resolved if the communication between the people is clear. The basic thing is the intention should be to hold the relationship rather than break it.

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